Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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