yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize