the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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