Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize