Me too!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
