dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize