Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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