apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
