I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
