no. you can't hotbox the world.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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