Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
