Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize