I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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