My sheets look like a crime scene.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
