Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
