Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
