I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
