I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
