All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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