I think im going to throw up on grandma
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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