So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
