Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
