Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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