we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
