If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just want to make out with him forever
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
