My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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