i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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