we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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