Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
