every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
