so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
