I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
