I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
