I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
