Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
