Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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