dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
