I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize