no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
