Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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