Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
