She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
