Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
im six kinds of drunk right now
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
