Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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