very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
