I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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