did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize