i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize