whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
