I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
