i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
