oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
