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As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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