it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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