Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
