I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
