I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
did i walk over a car last night?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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