the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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