just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
