I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
