i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
