every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
