I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Randomize
