I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
