some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
how drunk are you?
Several
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
