how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
