I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize