I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Everclear isn't food dammit
My feet surprised me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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