I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
