I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
